Pics with my new camera (part one)

Oh and uh... here's a sumsin sumsin I photoshopped the hell out of because mum said it'd make a good profile picture (initially, before I went to town on it and put in a new background and... well, etc)

Good night and good luck !

Does being at home on a Friday night constitute you being a hermit? I don't want to be a hermit. I had a great day exploring Brooklyn and Coney Isand and the NY aquarium with an old friend at NYU. Staying in on a Friday night doesn't mean I'm a complete failure... does it?

Yearning for the Holidays

"Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft."

I don't know if she made it up or if it's from a legitimate outside source, but if she didn't write it herself to directly apply to me and my boy, it's just spooky. At any rate, I like the quote!


Anyway, I want to talk about HOLIDAYS because of how happy they make me.

OCTOBER is a ridiculously exciting month, mostly because of the anticipation for upcoming THANKSGIVING. But then I really like Thanksgiving because it's the beginning of the season for Christmas, which is my absolute favorite time of year.

Note to self: Make blog in future (closer to Christmas) about how everyone should enjoy the season and not find it stressful at all.

I am so happy with the new chilly weather here. I went to Canal Street today in a guilty pleasure of outdoor shopping and haggling (one of the very few instances I truly enjoy a shopping trip) and got a Christmas present for my mum (I know it's early; just one!) and a vair vair cute bag for me. (It's small. Give me a break.)

K, that's it for now.

Doublethink ungood

Once in a while you get one of those books that you finish and you close the cover and look at it and go, "Fuck. It's over." And then you have to think about everything you just took in for a really, really long time.

Yes, fine, you may have read 1984 in middle school or your boring sophomore year English class. But I have only moments ago finished the story, the appendix, and the afterword.

Dystopian novels are my favorite kind, without question, but never before has a book really scared, or depressed, me as much as 1984. I think I gained a lot more reading it now, at this point in my life, than I would have being forced to skim through chapter after chapter by a classroom reading syllabus. I appreciate it. I fucking loved it. I love Orwell, without a doubt. I recently downloaded Animal Farm onto my iPhone and I have read it over at least twice since last week. But I veer from the point. 1984 is sad and provoking.

I think there was something in the appendix, though, that mentioned a sort of... new renaissance. It was just a passing thought, maybe just a hypothetical reference, but I think we're going to have one. Another renaissance, where people look back at their heartless and shallow lives and maybe some extremists out there become philosophers and we have a breakthrough in arts and culture and poetry and philosophy and everyone comes up with great new ideas about how people are supposed to live to be able to grasp their full potential as loving, living, human beings. And maybe then the militaries worldwide will downsize and people will start to think differently. Or maybe not.

But I don't want my world to become a dystopia.
I don't want to be taken over by the eye of a church-government
I don't want to love Big Brother
I don't want to come from a test tube and take happy-drugs
No, I don't want to live in a world where people can't be people.

The one we have right now is... all right. It could be a million times better but it's going one way or another. I'm not sure which.

But as for now, in a facebook chat message I just sent to my mom, "I just read 1984 and I need to be reminded that the world is still okay."

I hope everyone knows my last entry was pro-Obama, and that my grandma's rants are solely for amusement (to keep from total depression due to the amount of right winged hillbillies in the nation)

Real entry coming. Been busy, been sick. You know how it goes.

Plane tickets = $50 jetnet fee

BG cappuccino = $3.75

Sickness on the last few days = a world of pain

Egging on your right-winged grandma on who you're voting for just to be able to hear her rant about Obama being an "Ay-rab" = priceless

I felt something today

...on the cab, leaving Manhattan.

A kind of tugging.

And intense sadness.

I was so sad to leave the city. I didn't even know I could become attatched to it so quickly (everyone grows tired of the city noise, the bustle, the crazies, the smog, the car dodging...) but as I sat there and watched the skyscrapers grow smaller in the cab window, I felt almost homesick already. It was so, so bizarre.

Of course I knew I was happy to visit home, and I am. I love everyone here, they are wonderful. But as for simple location, even when I'm lonely, I love my city, and school.

Peace.

Excerpt from a recent journal entry

Why do you seem so sad, so angry, so distant? You say you are sick of living like this. In a way. But see, I love living.

A thousand miles away in every sense.

We cannot help the way we live, I think. Inevitably, too many things must be determined for us. I cannot cast away my education, my earnings, my goals and ambitions; what I can do is stand beside you, support you, give you love and anything else you need- in return, please be happy. Be thankful. You have so much in what matters- people who love you. A community. A family to fall back on for help. Youth. The entire world to explore. So let's explore it.

I've eaten too many Swedish Fish.

Food I will consume upon my first visit home from college

Food I will consume upon my first visit home from college:


A chocolate chip waffle from Waffle House

A cappuccino from Buon Giorno

Dad's pancakes / pasta / anything else

All the bread that comes to the table at Italianni's

Grandmom's fried bread / pumpkin soup / cracker cookies / pretzel jello / anything else

Any other foods that are genuinely good and not from a shitty college cafeteria.


My cup runneth over...

I was lying in bed late last night and I wondered what it is that keeps me going, wanting to pursue this business and be successful.

Then I remembered Honk! my freshman year, and all of the feelings that came with playing Ida in that show.

It was a dumb junior production, sure. But it was, for some unspeakable reason, arguably the most rewarding show I have ever been a part of.

I will write a long entry as to why and explain myself thoroughly upon revisiting this entry, deleting it, and beginning anew, as I am probably not wording myself correctly now seeing as how tired I am. But now it is late, and I am a tired little fish, and I must get to bed. But tomorrow, or perhaps this weekend, I will wax on that one show (and a good many others too, I'm sure!) that I have to keep remembering through this college experience to remind me why I love doing this so much.

Peace.

...Girl Card?

It's harder to type, and they feel a little weird, but I am pretty proud of myself for going out and getting nails...

...three dollar stick-on nails from Duane Reade!


When I was putting them on I felt almost chio. I'm just not used to it I guess.


Hehe. I feel girly. It's strange.

Just a mini update!