Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Being Alone

There is a certain kind of bliss about being all alone. Those who know me may understand that, at times, I'm a very solitary creature. In elementary school, I had a really hard time making friends, so I would spend my hours on the playground by myself, happily swinging or making up songs or reading those Time Warp Trio books (which were the coolest back then.) Freshman year of college, I had this same problem; I was so afraid of befriending my fellow theater majors that I kept to myself, spending my freezing Saturday mornings taking long walks down to Wall Street and back.

Nowadays, I have many friends-- not to mention a wonderful boyfriend, whom I spend most of my time with; he is like my other half, and when we aren't in class, you can always expect us to be somewhere together, out exploring Chinatown or playing Halo at home.

But sometimes, when waiting for him to get out of class or work, I find myself alone again, like I used to be. And those times are happy too.

Being alone, satisfactorily, is a really useful skill to cultivate. Many people struggle with being alone but it's something I've really come to love and appreciate. However, there are differences between my alone self and my public self.

The first thing I've noticed is that when I'm alone, I eat better. For some reason being around friends makes me want to eat a ton of junk food.

But when I'm alone, I think things through carefully and don't indulge myself. Also, I really do like mashed potatoes better than cheese fries.

So what is it about friends that make me want cheese fries? It's like they're bringing out my crazy side.

Also, being alone, I come to a sense of peace, reading and thinking...
While in a large group or at school, I return to my normal state of awkward explosion mess.

So, for a lot of people, being alone is weird or awkward. For me, LIFE is weird and awkward.

Gotta go to class-- but afterward, I'm gonna hang out with Winston. It's my favorite thing-- it's even better than being alone. It isn't quite so lonesome. :)


Katherine Jenkins said...

love your drawings and so great that you find being alone so rewarding at such an early age. My husband says alone actually means "all-one," just add an extra "l". It means we are in a state of "oneness" with existence when we tune into ourselves, so actually we are not alone. This state of existence brings GREAT peace. Is this your new blog with lessons? I'd like to be a follower ^_^!

Kate said...

Haha thanks! It is! Well, not really lessons-- just things I learn for myself and feel like passing on in a relatively humorous way... Stories of my life, moreso. ^_^

lorax said...

I feel the EXACT same way. The world makes so much more sense when I'm alone and then I explode into an awkward fetus fail cake in the company of others.