Friday, August 27, 2010

Harry Potter Books, in summary

This summer, I vowed to do something I never had before: read all of the Harry Potter series.

I'm currently on the sixth, even though I basically know what happens throughout the end.

So, here is a brief summary of the books as opposed to the movies:


THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS IN TEN SECONDS

1. SORCERERS STONE- Harry escapes a bad life and enters a cool one. Little kids swoon with envy. Insert storyline of "chosen boy" like in Star Wars and every other fantasy story existant.

2. CHAMBER OF SECRETS- They make friends and fight monsters! BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

3. PRISONER OF AZKABAN- We meet the two most attractive characters in all of literary history, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, who have a questionably close relationship with one another. (Delightfully so, of course.)

4. GOBLET OF FIRE- Cedric Diggory dies, but reincarnates as a sparkly vampire in another movie series, so it's okay. Then Japanese women make body pillows shaped like him.

5. ORDER OF THE PHOENIX- Harry whines because no one understands him. (Well, he IS fifteen...)

6. HALF BLOOD PRINCE- Ron whines about Harry being popular and Hermoine whines that no one likes her, which is true.

7. DEATHLY HALLOWS- Harry wins. JK Rowling rakes in millions.

The end.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Beach Day

Last week, me and the Chinese family took a trip to Long Island, to the beach at Robert Moses park. The day was a little cloudy, windy, and the water was freezing, but overall it's a lovely beach and I'd like to go back (when the water isn't sub-zero)

In the car, a very grumpy QiQi (pronounced Chee-Chee) is woken up from her nap.

She demands to play with the iPhone! Now!

From left: Adeline (who's going to Yale this fall), Qi Qi Hidalgo, and Jennifer, Winston's sister and Qi Qi's mommy.

It wasn't too crowded and the waves were really big!

Like, "oh shit" big.
I got knocked down a bunch of times.

Wins + beach = happy.

Happy feets.

Qi Qi approves of this beach. Almost.

Jennifer, Lena, and Qi

Emily the epically awesome

You almost got it there, Qi. Keep on truckin'.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Great Gerbil Run

Sometimes, when Winston and I get back to his house after a particularly trying day of summer school, we just need to chill out and let our brains wander. Wins achieves this by playing Starcraft. I achieve this by being ridiculous (as per usual.)

How did I decide to be ridiculous today?

By making a giant gerbil obstacle course, of course!

The first step was laying down newspaper so they wouldn't make a mess on Qi Qi's squishy soft play floor that covers the upstairs living room, where I decided to build the course since it had the most open room. The run was rather small (I made it the "beginners course") and walled with books so they wouldn't jump out. I used books that I wouldn't mind messing up:

1. A Calculus textbook (Not mine. Bahaha!)
2. Some older, shabbier books
3. Winston's copies of the Twilight series (I should have smeared gerbil food on them first)

The incentive? At the end of the maze was half a granola bar! Which is the equivalent of a lifetime supply of salt & vinegar chips for me.

Gerbil course of DOOM. (not really.)

The entrance to the maze, marked by a pair of Vans
(I got a new watch. It's totally steampunk awesome.)

They must pass through a tunnel...

And a slightly larger tunnel,
followed by my copy of War and Peace,
which they have to jump over to receive the granola bar.



Our two victims contestants:

MAXIMILLION BONAPARTE SCRUFFYKINS
aka "Max"
aka "Winston's favorite"
and

DANTE INFERNO BEAZLEFLUFF AWESOMEPANTS

aka "Dante"
aka "Kate's favorite"

First, the race takes off with our first contestant, Dante.

Our hero first sits at the entrance, not knowing what to do. He pees next to Anne Rice's The Vampire Chronicles out of fear and confusion.

He ambles through both tunnels, then stands like a meerkat next to Eclipse, looking baffled.

Rather than leaping to victory, Dante decides to hang out on Tolstoy for a bit. He merely blinks at the granola bar.

Finally, after about a minute of wandering back and forth in the course, he steps over the War & Peace, finds the granola bar, and turns back. He is not impressed by the granola bar.

Time: 1 minute 20 seconds.


Next up: Max!


Max has a good start, sprinting like a bat out of hell to the tunnels.


He is deterred only by Vonnegut's Player Piano, which apparently is delicious.


Finally, he makes it to the last jump... but what does he do? Takes a shit on Tolstoy, then runs back to the beginning. Maybe he is trying to make a statement against Russian literature.

After dashing back faster than my phone can process the camera shutter, Maxie takes one final leap over the (now defaced) War & Peace to his victory nomming. However, his victory doesn't last long because I chuck the little bastard back in his cage and quickly take care of my beloved W&P. (The book is now fine.)

Time: 43 seconds.

The winner: Max!

Verdict: My favorite gerbil is retarded.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Blergh

Currently I am sitting in Winston's house with his cousin Emily. Emily is one of my favoritest cousins of his ever.

I didn't quite understand the concept of cousins when I was very young, probably since I don't have any. This baffles my boyfriend's family. They don't know how one survives with such a small family.

My family is small, but lovely.

This is a short post but I NEED TO BLOG MORE.

This will become a place full of tour shiznit! Also, I'm trying to see if it would be possible to blog from an iPad... this will require multiple trips to the Apple store.

Like the new layout? I can haz update!

The editing html thing was tedious for the longest time, so I'm happy about this new enhancement to blogger that makes things a little easier (since, otherwise, I'm really bad at web design.)

Ok, more later. Zai tien!