Friday, January 30, 2009

Our next President should be a Green Party Muslim Mexican Midget Lesbian.

And since the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with its content, I shall now continue.

This post is actually about weird men on the street.

How many times, New York women, has this happened to you?

I'm walking through Central Park in the mid-70s on a beautiful gray snowy day. A light flurry of snow has started to fall and everything is white and pretty and I'm taking pictures of squirrels (okay, you probably don't take pictures of squirrels, but anyway) and just walking along, minding my own business.

There's a guy walking by himself a little up ahead, heading in my direction. Now, there are plenty of people around, and it's the middle of the day, so it's not like I feel super-threatened right now or anything. Then he stops, and I have no choice but to keep walking towards him, because anything else would be awkward and totally obvious. So he's just stopped and as I come towards him he says "Hey, cutie" in a totally creepy middle-aged man way, turning in my direction, always facing me, and turning around when I pass him. I furrow my brow, in my best hostile don't-fuck-with-me face, don't look at him, and walk past him. Then I hear "Hey, I SAID HELLO! HELLOOO??! HEY! What the fuck..." I keep walking. "Ice-cold..." he mutters.

So then I'm preoccupied thinking about this loser weirdo and a minute later I think, "who the hell is this guy to take my mind from this beautiful park? I WAS HAPPY THINKING ABOUT NATURE UNTIL I STARTED THINKING ABOUT WHAT A FREAKING TARGET I AM FOR RAPISTS! THANKS A BUNCH OLD GUY!"

Needless to say, this happens a lot. Here are some of the reasons I think I am a prime rape target:

1. I am a young female
2. [I think] I am [relatively] attractive [on good days]
3. I am a pretty small/weak person
4. I have an iphone (they could be looking to score some free electronics after they kill me)

ANOTHER STORY, EXCEPT WITH A KID MY AGE: I was walking along home from school and reading at the same time. I hear a guy, who I think is another student or maybe a tourist asking for directions, say "hey! Miss! Excuse me! Can I ask you a question?" so I look up and say "sure". It's this twenty-something with a stupid sideways grin on his face, catching up beside me and he asks, "Where have you been all my life?" I roll my eyes and walk away. "You're beautiful!" He yells after. In retrospect I wanted to say something snarky, but couldn't think of anything quite threatening or sassy enough. Ok, so this was one of the classier catcalls, and I didn't have any reason to rip his balls off or anything. It was kind of sweet. But all the rest of 'em are just lame, and unoriginal, such as the trucker who, when I ran by because I forgot a paper for class, said, "Whoa, tits." Not even "sugartits" or "Hey there, tits". Just "Whoa, tits" like he was a twelve year old boy who'd never seen 'em. YES, I HAVE TITS. AND THEY ARE NICE. WHATEVER.


I don't get this. See, here's my question:
Why do these men do this?
Construction workers, random guys... I was trying to look as sour and unpleasant as possible and they still stop to call me "cutie" or something equally odd.

Also, it's always cutie. I look like a very young teenager on the street, so why do all of these weird old men always stop to say things like this? Do they do this to every freakin' female they pass walking by herself? WHY? WHAT IS THEIR MOTIVATION?

Are ALL of them sad lonely men who have absolutely no women in their lives, so they go out walking looking for vulnerable young girls to heckle? If so, it seems like there are just hundreds of weird rapists walking around heckling girls all the time. Which is a bit unsettling. Or are they normal people?

I just want to know, in their right minds, what on earth they hope to achieve by doing this. Also, they get really pissed off when you ignore them, so I'd just like to know why this is. Seriously.

Because of this issue, I have taken it upon myself to only associate with flaming homos. Or people who are older than me who I know are classy. Whatever.

And, like I said I took, here are some pictures of Central Park wildlife.


Jennifer said...

1. Trish walks around taking photos of squirrels all the's just that in her case, they happen to be DEAD squirrels.

2. The answer is SEX. Why do men do anything? Sex.

Good thing you have me around to clarify these burning issues. heh heh

Kate said...

Yes, it's for sex, but they're heckling the REALLY YOUNG AND VULNERABLE for such a thing, which I find creepy, and I want to know if all these men know they're being creepy as fuck and OH MY GOD ARE THEY REALLY THIS DESPERATE. That kind of thing.

Yes, I prefer the live squirrels. There was a really cute one making a nest today in a tree hole.

Tracy said...

Love the pics.

Don't even look at those creeps!

Part of me wants to tell you to just come home, but I won't.

Just be careful and try to travel with someone along, please. Surely one of your newly acquired gay posse pals enjoys photographing squirrels, yes?

Kate said...

Trace, I can't be with someone ALL the time. It's not a huge deal, it's just annoying.

I knew this post would worry you! I am fine! Hahaha

Frosty said...

This is one of the things that baffles me about New York. I hate this. Most of the time, I just ignore these guys and hope that they don't come after me. It's really frightening when they get angry and start yelling at you because you don't say hello. But if you ever feel cornered, just look up at them wide-eyed and say in a garbled voice, "What? I'm sorry. I'm deaf. I read lips. Were you talking to me?" And then just walk away.

Hawk said...

It's like monkeys hooting in the trees. If one hoots the next must hoot louder to prove himself.

If one guy wolfwhistles, taunts or harasses the girl so must I or my man friends may think I'm less than manly and say/do things to me because of it.

Group mentality, it's why I don't participate in society.