Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Scandal in the world of Theater People

I don't like the musical Carousel.

Scandalous, right? Now, don't leap up and kill me right now, all my theater people: HEAR ME OUT. These are only MY PERSONAL REASONS for having problems with the show. I understand that the music is lovely, which it is. It is very beautiful music (but not ALL of it is beautiful- just see the list). This is just about the show itself, and why I truly think it shouldn't be called the Great American Musical or whatever it's been called.

Reasons I personally don't like the musical Carousel:

1. They have a song about clams.

2. Much of the plot rests around this asshole who beats his wife. Actually, he's the main character, and he IS an asshole, and he DOES beat up his wife a whole bunch.

3. What does the wife do? Love him anyway. DUMB BITCH!

4. They have a song about clams.

5. Another big element of the plot is that the character Julie or whatever decides that even though the going gets tough, she should still be completely devoted to her asswipe of a husband who slaps her around. WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THIS??!

4. June is Bustin' Out All Over. 'Nuff said.

5. Did I mention they sing about clams? ...For a really long time?

6. The asswipe finally dies-- oh goody! Does this mean justice will be served?

No. He goes back down to Earth a couple years later and beats his daughter.

7. What does the daughter say in response to this? "The slap was like a kiss... it's like you know he loved you." WHAT KIND OF MISOGYNIST CRAP IS THIS??!

and lastly,

8. It took about nine hours to tell the whole story.



Tracy said...

I must say, that was quite the watershed moment when we walked out of Lyric Stage last year! The show was fabulously done, but I knew you were fuming.

You've always held humans to a very lofty standard. Like in kindergarten, when you were appalled at Jeremy Poradek's family for not composting!

-J. said...

Carousel is almost redeemed by the presence of If I Loved You, one of the better bits of the R&H catalog.



I mixed the show once, for a three week run in summer stock. Had to have been the longest three weeks of my life, and required a massive and continuous intake of caffeine to stay conscious.